Do the revisions improve the clarity of the ideas? If so, how? If…

Question Answered step-by-step Do the revisions improve the clarity of the ideas? If so, how? If… Do the revisions improve the clarity of the ideas? If so, how? If not, why not?Is the use of semicolons and colons correct? How might they be used more effectively?Are the transition words used in the revised paragraphs appropriate? If so, why? If not, suggest alternative transition words.What insight about paragraphing and transitions in writing have you gained by reviewing your classmate’s post?What insight might you offer your classmate regarding paragraphing and transitions in writing? Original:  A main core value of mine is reliability. Being reliable entails being trustworthy, dependable, and authentic. Both Clay (2001) and Sapolsky (2018) highlight the importance of socioeconomic status for a person’s health. Everybody has a different ladder that they put themselves or others on and this has little to do with wealth. If a person is confident, believes they are great, and holds onto their core values, their health will benefit. An example given by Clay (2001) is about a preacher. He does not have much money or education. He is not seen as somebody of high social class to most of the world. However, he knows his values and what he is doing good and thinks of himself as important. This leads to good mental and physical health without the influence of income status. There are various reasons why a person’s health is poor. Perhaps bad health and a disability caused the low income. There are many things that could change and improve health if a person had the means. There are also many things that can improve health that do not cost a cent. It is the working together of multiple scenarios that ultimately determine a persons’ health.   Revised: Equally important, is an established set of core values. A main core value of mine is reliability. Being reliable entails being trustworthy, dependable, and authentic. Both Clay (2001) and Sapolsky (2018) highlight the importance of socioeconomic status for a person’s health. Everybody has a different ladder that they put themselves or others on and this has little to do with wealth. If a person is confident, believes they are great, and holds onto their core values, their health will benefit. An example given by Clay (2001) is about a preacher. He does not have much money or education. He is not seen as somebody of high social class to most of the world. However, he knows his values and what he is doing good and thinks of himself as important. This leads to good mental and physical health without the influence of income status. There are various reasons why a person’s health is poor. Perhaps bad health and a disability caused the low income. There are many things that could change and improve health if a person had the means. There are also many things that can improve health that do not cost a cent. It is the working together of multiple scenarios that ultimately determine a person’s health.  Arts & Humanities Writing WRTG 111 Share QuestionEmailCopy link Comments (0)